TOGETHERNESS

One of the most enduring, irrevocable divine truths – across traditions and supported by solid scientific research – is that we humans are made for togetherness. Just as a bee is drawn to pollen and a flower turns toward the sun and soaks up rain, we are created for relationship.

All of creation is connected and intertwined in ways we can’t even see or understand. As part of this beautiful creation, we humans, like all other living things, need to live by the laws of nature in order to function and evolve properly. Just like you can’t feed a plant gasoline, put it in a dark room and expect it to thrive, so too author and atheist, Jonathan Haidt in his book The Anxious Generation observes how the digital age is effecting our growth, harming how our brains and social lives develop. He says, “we are connecting our young people to everyone in the world and disconnecting them from the people around them” and mourns our continued disregard for our innate design by observing “people don’t get depressed when we face threats collectively; we get depressed when we feel isolated, lonely, or useless.” His research shows children need to “be raised within communities that offer a rich moral framework in order to develop a sense of place and meaning that enables them to thrive.” We are wired for friendship and collaboration, but our culture frustrates our efforts to establish these healthy social ties.

Dr. Margaret Wheatley frames the challenge this way. She suggests that our creator speaks to us in nature in which we observe that “lasting change never happens as a result of top down, strategic plans, or from the command of any single individual. Rather, change happens with little, spontaneous, and irregular actions that spring up simultaneously in many different areas; large-scale change comes through small unpredictable beginnings. If we could sit on a mountainside for many decades, we would see a tree here or there sprout up, and then more and more, until we had a forest. But we would be hard-pressed to find the blueprint. Our human behavior is part of this complex and delicate creation, but we have constructed unnatural mega-systems that don’t work. They are crumbling around us, and we are the casualties—stressed-out, disconnected from each other, moving too fast.” So, what are we to do?

Dr. Brian Flanagan suggests we take a play from the Christian tradition of the 13th century when clergy and the big monasteries in Europe were deeply corrupt; caught up in wealth and power; distracted from the humble way of life introduced by Jesus. A strong clamor for reform emerged among the people. Out of this conflict, small groups of people working together to live more like the early followers of Jesus began to emerge, and the communities that embraced this kind of simple life of sharing and poverty – such as the Franciscans – exploded in size! St. Francis goes from practicing with just a few of his friends to having over 40,000 friars within about 60 years.

These little groups didn’t spend their time and energy directly confronting the institution, rather they found cracks in the older form of “doing church” that wasn’t working anymore and found creative ways to live with authenticity in those cracks and to grow something new. Being deeply rooted in the Christian tradition made it possible for these little networks of people who shared a common vision of what was possible to innovate with integrity. As anthropologist Margaret Mead famously observed: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

So, as we watch in awe as nature’s beauty bursts back to life around us this spring, perhaps we too can plant ourselves anew into the rich, nourishing soil of community and togetherness that if lived with authenticity, help us to grow in health and hope.

This article ran in Grosse Pointe News in April 2025 https://www.grossepointenews.com/articles/guest-view-rooted-in-togetherness/